


ᴅᴇsɪᴅᴇʀɪᴜᴍ

by Kuruka



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Death, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Letters, Love Letters, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Piano, Regret, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:14:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29363838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuruka/pseuds/Kuruka
Summary: des·i·de·ri·um | \ ˌdesəˈdirēəm, -ezə- \plural desideria\ -ēə \:an ardent desire or longingespecially : a feeling of loss or grief for something lost.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/You
Kudos: 2





	ᴅᴇsɪᴅᴇʀɪᴜᴍ

My Dear,

Sometimes, I don't feel anymore. Everything is not everything for me, just emptiness. My eyes seems to be closed, even if they are wide opened, it's like I'm blind, just seeing darkness everwhere. Everything becoming darkness. Trying to reach an end, a goal. My life. You.

And you're here to help me find the right path.

Other times I feel like i'm detuned. Like a piano whom not be used for a long, long time. I want to run in the grass, barefoot, sensing everything before I remember it's just empty. I want to sense everything. I want the air to tangle my hair. I want the earth to support my feet. I want the fire to burn my entire body. I want the water to purish my look.

I want you to touch my heart.

Sometimes, I feel like the sky is watching me and my mistakes. Sometimes the sky is crushing me. And sometimes the sky make me want to die.

I just stand here, in that corridor, waiting for something to happen. I'm wearing some pants or skirt, and my shirt is floating slightly. My heart is bumping so hard in my chest, like your fist is punching me as always. But I don't care, if it's hurt. I just stand here.

The sunflowers are judging my actions. They are asking for justice, justice that I can't give to them.

But I try to reach you again and this time you just let me sink.

And then, you play with the piano. It's still horrible. Ugly. The sound isn't even calm. But you touch the key to make it work. Because it's that. I have to work.

A piano is just a instrument. The piano don't play with you or for you. You play for it. And if it doesn't want you, you have to try harder. To push. To punch. To make it work. Harder. _Harder_. **HARDER**.

And when the piano is broken. You destroy it completly, with a last note. A note marking the piano's entity. The piano's corpse.

It just lays there. You watching it.

It let out a pityful, like it's out of tune.

And you're not longer watching the piano. You turn away your look from it.

From me.

My dear Oikawa Tooru, I will always remember the look you had on your face when you turned away your attention of my piano.

Disgusted?

Sad?

Angry?

Melancholic?

But can I really blame you? Love is not a perfect thing. It's not immortal, it's slowly devoured by time, exactly like our life. We just choose if we want to end it sooner.

Loving you was like admiring an natural disaster. It was magnificent, pleasant, beautiful, stunning and yet full of chaos. You were my everything through these months and years, helping me learning how to feel and love someone.

My dear Oikawa my piano will never love someone as deep as i loved you.

Sometimes, people could have said it was self-destructive. And we were here stargazing, stars eating our eyes and adding lights and shine to them. It burned my entire body with passion and fire, filling me with nothing but pure adoration for the man in front of me. _You_

And I'm begging the sky to leave you live your life without regrets. They will only keep you on the ground, however you should fly.

Remember that you need to leave me behind.

But still, don't forget me too quickly please?

I love you.

Most faithfully yours,

(Y/N)


End file.
